Seasons
by fyd818
Summary: Five times Edward Cullen’s existence has changed since meeting the mysterious Bella Swan. ExB
1. First Sight

Disclaimer: I do not own the "Twilight" saga, nor it's characters. Nor am I claiming to. Those belong to the extraordinarily talented Stephenie Meyers. I am merely writing this fic as a form of entertainment and am making no monetary gain.

Summary: Five times Edward Cullen's existence has changed since meeting the mysterious Bella Swan. ExB

Rating: T

Warnings: Kissing, vampiric thoughts, and the transformation into a vampire

Pairing: Edward/Bella

Title: _Seasons_

Author: fyd818

Part 1/5

Dedication: To **saphiretwin369**, who encouraged me to write more "Twilight" fic. Thank you!

Author's note: This is only my second foray into the world of "Twilight" fanfiction, so please be patient with me. While I have read the books _a lot_, I still am a little uncertain on my feet in _writing_ in the "Twilight" universe. But I promise to try to do a good job! Thank you so much for checking this fic out, and I hope you enjoy!

"**Seasons"**

_fyd818_

Part One

**-First Glance-**

The thoughts of the other students press against my mind. Each clamors for attention, though I ignore them all as a unit. It has taken me many – perhaps _too_ many – years to perfect this ability, to ignore the constant barrage of thoughts that plague me when I'm in public. There is a bright side to this ability of mine, however. Between Alice and myself, we can usually catch any trouble that might stumble our way.

However, not even Alice with her Sight could have seen this.

The good thing about small-town high schools was the anonymous façades my family can maintain. The _bad_ thing about small-town high schools is newcomers get attention long before they show up.

In this case: one Bella Swan.

Every male mind in my vicinity had been thinking about this Isabella creature all day long. I caught fleeting glimpses every now and then through someone's mind: dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin. For a startled moment, I thought she might be one of us: a vampire. She was certainly pale enough to be one. Even though she sat at a table full of humans, I wondered. If she was able to keep her control that well with all that temptation only inches away (and was it wrong of me to hope she would take care of Jessica Stanley?), she was certainly more practiced than me. _Perhaps she's as old as Carlisle?_ I wondered.

But just as soon as the thought crossed my mind, a vision exploded in my sister's mind. The new student, Isabella – no, wait, _Bella_ – in my inescapable grasp, my mouth at her neck as I drew her very young, fragile life away.

_Not_ a vampire. A human girl, dangerous to me in a way I had only imagined before.

More shaken than I'd admit even to Alice, I left the cafeteria for my next class. My sister's vision ran around and around in my head. It – _she_ haunted me, with those large dark eyes, her lovely mouth opened in a silent scream.

A giggled whisper floated around the room. My mind dimly registered it as a minor nuisance as I returned my attention to the clock. I knew I needed to talk to Carlisle about this. He would know what to do. If the new student would cause me problems, she would cause my family problems. A murder and/or disappearance in the small town of Forks, Washington, would be very noticeable.

It hit me then, with my very next breath. _The Scent._

My mind didn't pause to process what in particular it smelled like, or where it was coming from. In the span of a blink, all my years of patience and training became inconsequential. I was no longer a slightly-eccentric high school kid, as anxious as everyone else to get out of class so I could go home. Suddenly I was a _vampire_ again, pure and simple. I was a dark murderer, thirsty for this blood: nothing like I'd ever dreamed, everything I'd ever wanted.

Then, just as quickly, my rational side took firm hold again. I firmly told myself to _stay_ in my seat even as my head swiveled to face the aisle to see what demon had been summoned to haunt me in the middle of this content life my family had managed to build for ourselves.

The new student stood frozen in the black lock of my stare. In her dark eyes I saw my reflection, a picture that frightened myself: an expression twisted in a mask of such hate, such revulsion, it seared into me like a brand. For a moment her expression resembled that in Alice's vision as she stared at me, one hand out to brace herself on a table from where she'd tripped.

I subconsciously held my breath and forced myself to look away. Terror swept through me; something I'd not felt in too long. My flight instinct screamed to life. It encouraged me to run, to get away before I did something incredibly stupid.

But I had no excuse. It would call too much attention if I left now, as all eyes were turned in my direction as the new student sat next to me.

I held my breath and clenched my hands around the edge of the table, careful not to squeeze too hard. The next hour would be torture – I didn't know if I was strong enough to resist the urge to _feed_. To satiate my thirst, to partake of this perfection which called so sweetly to me.

I turned my tortured gaze back to the clock on the wall, begging the time to move faster. I needed to _escape!_

Bella Swan was going to be the death of me. I knew she would be.

But, despite her sweet, sweet blood, she was so _interesting. . ._

I clung to that, and watched those hands on the clock pass with eternal slowness.

_-End Part One-_


	2. The Parting

Please see first chapter for disclaimer, rating, warnings, pairing, etc.

Part 2/5

Part Two

**-The Parting-**

Jasper sat in the corner, head in his hands. Alice crouched next to him, arms around her love's shoulders. She looked as miserable as he. I knew she blamed herself for not having Seen this coming. As closely attuned to Jasper, to Bella, as she was, she should have Seen.

I turned my head to gaze out the window next to me. The broad Denali landscape lay before me, an offer of unlimited freedom and food. But I didn't care. Denali was just a place to go to escape from Forks. For now. I would leave soon, to go after Victoria. I knew Alice Saw it coming, and wondered with detached curiosity why she hadn't mentioned it. Perhaps she knew I felt as guilty as she. We all dealt with our guilt, the way we are, in different ways. Maybe she thought this was my way.

The urge to return to Forks, to Bella, gnawed at me. I hated to leave her the way I did. I hated to leave her _period_. But it was for the best. I was too dangerous to be around. I endangered her too much already, merely by existing. As I'd told her once before: I am essentially a selfish creature. And right now, I am selfish enough to want to return to Forks and put her in danger all over again.

But, over the span of the years of my – existence – I have also polished my ability to resist what I want. In this case, what I wanted was to be with Bella again. I was resisting.

It was a start.

Jasper looked up suddenly. Perhaps he sensed my mood: his curse, as well as his gift. "I _am_ very sorry, Edward." His voice was subdued. I knew he still beat himself mercilessly inside over what he'd done. I could see the sincerity in his eyes; read the pain and anger in his mind. But I was still too mad, too disgusted at what we are. Perhaps, one day, I could forgive him. Or was I not wanting to forgive myself? Was I just projecting my anger on my brother? It could just as easily have been me who took the snap at Bella.

"I know, Jasper." I wanted to say "I forgive you." I wanted to say it more than anyone could know. But I couldn't. Not now. Not when the pain of leaving her was still so fresh, so raw. Not when my heart, which hadn't beat in so long (but had still somehow been brought alive again by Bella) felt like it had died again.

I was, now, truly just a being. An empty shell. There was nothing left inside – except for the hurt. The anger. The betrayal. My family should be ashamed of me. I was ashamed of myself.

I turned from the window. The view no longer held my interest. "Tell Carlisle and Esme I'm sorry."

"You're leaving, then." It wasn't a question. I ignored Alice and mounted the stairs to the top floor of the house. Vampire or not, I would still need a few supplies for my trip.

Behind me Alice softly murmured something to Jasper. Then her quiet footsteps followed me up the steps and down the hall to the space designated as mine every time I visit Denali. "Edward, listen to me. You're doing yourself no good. You're doing Bella no good. Do you know what this is doing to her?"

I spun on my sister. "You _promised_ not to watch her any more!" I snapped.

Alice didn't shrink back from my angry advance. She didn't even bat an eye. Fearless, despite her tiny stature. "I know. And I haven't been watching her. But I know Bella, and I know you. I see your pain. I see a thousand different pieces of your future, but they all end the same. If it is this bad for you, can't you imagine what it's like for Bella?"

I swallowed. Was Alice _trying_ to make me feel worse?

Her dark eyes steadily bored into mine. "You think you're the only one who loved Bella? Human or not, she's my sister. I love Rosalie, don't get me wrong, but Bella feels more like my sister. Esme loves her. Carlisle loves her. Emmett loves her. And despite what you might think, Jasper loves her too. I understand why we left. But can _you_ understand why you're staying away?"

I felt Alice's words pound the pain deeper into my chest. "I can't leave the family," I muttered.

My sister crossed her arms and glared. "Edward, listen to yourself! What are you getting ready to do now?"

I felt so confused. So lost. In some ways I wished I'd never met Bella, because before I had I was satisfied with my family and felt complete. Bella Swan had complicated _everything._ "I've put her in too much danger already. I'm going to find and rid the world of Victoria."

Alice's shoulders sagged just a little. "Edward, my brother, I don't doubt you'll find her. But what will happen after you've completed this mission of yours? Will you come back here and mope around some more? Will you make everyone miserable with your pain, your emptiness?" She reached out and touched my arm, her fingers small and hard and cold. Just like me. "Go on your mission. I wish you luck. But while you're gone, try to put things in perspective. _Think_ about what you've done. Not to this family – we're certainly used to moving from place to place – but to yourself. And to your _soulmate_." She shook her head, turned, and left without another word.

I knew I wouldn't see her again until I came back – if I came back. One day Bella would die – it was the inevitable fate of all humans. When she did, I would go to the Volturi and follow after as soon as possible.

It was a thought that had lingered long in the back of my mind. But all the decisions leading up to this point in my existence had been making it more and more concrete in my mind. All I had to do was carry it out someday.

I reached for the cell phone on the bedside table and paused as a thought struck. _Why don't I just go now?_

I lowered my head and sighed infinitesimally. _Because,_ I answered myself. _Because I'm selfish enough to hope that someday I'll be able to go back to her._

Like it or not, Bella Swan had changed me. It wasn't a change like what I'd endured when making the metamorphosis between human and vampire. It was a pain much worse.

She'd reawakened the human in me. The vulnerable part of me that died when I left her.

I tucked the cell in my pocket and swung my duffel over my shoulder. I wouldn't be back in a while – maybe never.

The house was quiet, deserted, as I moved through it to the front door. Even Jasper was gone from his corner.

The quietness echoed the silence in my soul. I gently closed the door behind me – not because I didn't want to disturb anyone, but because I really wanted to slam it in anger. Tanya didn't need to replace a broken door – she already had enough to replace that I'd broken out of sheer frustration over the week's time I'd spent in Denali.

I left Denali and my family behind me. I knew if I looked back, I'd shatter. So I didn't. I just headed into the sunset and clung to my memories of Bella – and my pain.

_-End Part Two-_


	3. The Return

Please see first chapter for disclaimer, rating, warnings, pairing, etc.

Part 3/5

Part Three

**-The Return-**

_Bella._ I can't seem to let her go. To stop holding her, staring at her. This day has been fraught with such danger for her: she crossed the ocean for me. She came to the heart of a vampire city to come to me, risked everything to save me from myself.

I'm thankful that Alice came with her. My sister, who'd been so firm in her belief that my leaving could do nothing but hurt Bella, had come with her and risked her own happy life with Jasper to help me regain my own with Bella.

I thought, when I first became a vampire, I understood the meaning of the word _eternity._ But my definition changed painfully and abruptly when I left Bella. An _eternity_ was when I was separated from Bella, no matter how long or short the time.

I really was selfish, in so many ways, to think that it was right of me to be holding her. I hadn't fed in a long time, and Bella's tempting neck rested so very close to my mouth.

But I knew now, somehow, I wouldn't feed on her. No matter how close she comes, no matter how thirsty I am, I will never hurt her that way. She's too warm and loving and beautiful. In some ways, too accepting as well. Here on my lap, curled into me, she seems to be willing to take me back with no qualms, no regrets. It's as if – as if I'd never left her in the first place.

But this is wrong, so wrong. I'd wanted it to be like I'd never _come_ to her. But everything inside me screamed that this is _right._ Where I belong, where she belongs. _We're meant for each other. Somehow, despite our differences, we are meant to be._

A few months ago, I thought our love was impossible. I was meant to be her enemy. But still we managed to fall in love with each other. The vampire and the human, the lion and the lamb.

_Sick, masochistic lion._ I sighed very quietly, and Bella lifted her head to look at me with large, haunted eyes.

A deep pang stabbed at my chest. I'd done this to her. I wouldn't blame her if she forever banished me from her life. But from the thoughts in Alice's head, I very much doubted she would. Though she _should_.

Alice spoke in a low, quick voice next to me. "We'll be able to leave soon. It's almost dark." Her voice was certain.

I relaxed, just a little. I'd been expecting something to happen to Bella while still in Volterra, particularly after all those innocent humans were herded in for Aro and the other Volturi. I'd been so afraid to lose Bella in the chaos, and never see her again. . .

Alice must have seen the fear still lingering in my eyes, for she reached out to touch my arm. "I promise, Edward. For as far into the future as I can See, she'll be fine."

I nodded slightly. Alice was harsh on me sometimes, but I would forever be thankful for her. "Thanks, Alice."

She nodded and smiled sympathetically, then politely turned away. _Thank you, Alice._ It wasn't much, but she was giving us a little privacy.

I hugged Bella closer to me. She was shivering slightly, and I wished again that I didn't feel so cold to her. I wished I could warm her, the way she was warming me with her nearness.

So fragile, so small. . .

Bella's face burrowed into the curve of my neck. I clung a little tighter to her, careful not to squeeze too tightly. I didn't know what would happen when we reached America. At the moment, I really didn't care. If I had to go back to the way things were, with my family in Denali or wherever they were now, I wasn't sure how I'd take it. But I deserved it, so I wouldn't complain. If we got to go back to Forks, to the way things used to be with Bella, I definitely wouldn't complain. But I wouldn't deserve it, not after I'd hurt my love so badly. . .

Bella lifted her head and looked me right in the eyes. Once more her beauty, her scent, her innocence, struck me. She never ceased to amaze me. "Edward, I love you," she whispered.

"Bella, I love you too." Deep inside me, where I'd been dead so long, a small bloom of warmth came to life. _Bella_ brought me back to life.

_-End Part Three-_


	4. Nothing Shall Part

Please see first chapter for disclaimer, rating, warnings, pairing, etc.

Part 4/5

Part Four

**-Nothing Shall Part-**

Jasper twitched and turned to glare at me. "Stop it, Edward!" he growled under his breath.

I clenched my fists and drew in a deep breath, a futile attempt to calm myself. "I'm sorry, Jasper."

"Stop acting so nervous. She'll be here."

I reached up to adjust the collar of my tux yet again. "I know. But still. . ." I trailed off. Was I honestly doubting Bella?

Emmett paused his ushering duties long enough to address me. "Trust me, Edward. If Rose and I have been through this so many times, and if she hasn't gone running off to leave me at the alter yet, you'll do just fine."

I grimaced. "Not helping, Emmett."

Jasper sighed infinitesimally.

To distract my mind, I began to look around the cramped interior of Forks' church. Since it was (naturally) raining outside, Bella and I couldn't have an outdoor wedding. But, as Bella said, having our wedding in the church made things more intimate, since there was less room for guests. There were only a few people there – and most of them were family.

Bella's parents, Charlie and Renee, and her stepfather, Phil. Angela and Ben, not privy to all the details, but close friends of Bella's anyway. The Denali clan, sitting quietly in the back watching with ageless eyes. And the rest of my family: Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmett. . . Jasper was with me, and Alice would come down the aisle before Bella as her bridesmaid. But this wedding was so small, so intimate. Though I'd wanted to give her large and extravagant, I could see why she chose a small wedding. It made everything feel so much more _special_.

Emmett passed by again and whispered "two minutes" so lowly no one without vampire hearing could have heard.

I swallowed hard, and Jasper glared at me again.

_Thank goodness you're not human._ Jasper projected the thought to me with a sideways glance. _Otherwise, I don't think I'd be able to take the sweating, too._

I grimaced at my brother.

At the back of the church, Esme slipped through the doors. Moments later she came back and nodded. _They're ready, Edward._

I could tell she was being very careful to monitor her thoughts, so I wouldn't be able to glimpse Bella before I saw her coming down the aisle. I wanted it this way: it was human. One last human thing for her, before I fulfilled her wish, my promise.

The doors fully opened, and grey light from the vestibule poured into the room. Alice danced through the opening, her dress vivid against her pale skin. She grinned at me and winked before she shifted her gaze to her husband.

I felt a wave of utter love and adoration drift in my direction from Jasper. For once I was immune to his emotional effects, so intent was I on the doorway that would very soon reveal Bella.

And then she was there.

The dark veil of the rainy day outside lifted. The rest of the church, Forks – _the world_ disappeared, leaving only Bella and me. Suddenly, sunlight burst into the room, warmth that radiated from my love herself. Her eyes met mine, and I saw they were filled with apprehension. But behind that, I saw she was happy.

I swallowed again as Bella drifted down the aisle toward me, graceful as any vampire though she was still human. Again, I was thankful that Charlie had so willingly accepted Bella's and my engagement. Though it saddened me to see that Renee sat glaring at me with cold eyes. . .

But then it truly struck me, for the first time. I will spend the rest of my existence with this woman. Bella truly is mine. I truly am hers. Our love really is meant to be, _will_ be, for forever.

Her warm hand slipped into mine, and in that moment I looked forward to forever more than I ever had before.

_-End Part Four-_


	5. Forever

Please see first chapter for disclaimer, rating, warnings, pairing, etc.

Part 5/5

**Author's Note**: Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, story-alerted, and favorited this fic. You have all made my days a little brighter. This is the end, though, for now. Until I am again inspired by these characters, and their beautiful story. I deeply apologize for the tardiness of this final chapter, real life has kept me too busy to devote the emotion and attention this chapter demanded. Again, thank you so much everyone, and I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter!

Part Five

**-Forever-**

Perhaps my Bella is no longer soft, and warm. Her scent, no longer as potent as it was at one time.

But, now, my Bella is as close to indestructible as someone so accident prone can be. Her eyes are red now, instead of brown. Her skin is even paler; cold and hard instead of warm and soft. But she is as beautiful to me as the day I first realized I _was_ deeply in love with her, and always would be.

It's been five months now, and though her eyes are still brilliantly red, I can see the gold starting to seep in. Though now her eyes are closed, as she lays still in the center of the new clearing we'd claimed as ours in the more remote part of the Vancouver forest. The sun, playing hide-and-seek with the clouds, sparkled against Bella's skin everywhere it could.

Was this how Bella felt, that first day in our clearing in Forks? When she'd sat and stared at me for so long, and touched my skin so carefully, and with such awe?

"Edward, what are you thinking?" Her voice is low and sweet, unhurried despite the fact there is no one human within a thirty-mile radius to hear.

"I love you," I blurted. It wasn't what I meant to say. But it slipped out anyway, a truth spoken from the deepest and most sincere part of my heart. It no longer beat, and hadn't for so long, but it still belonged to her – for whatever it was worth.

Her eyes opened, and she looked at me with that playful half-smile I couldn't seem to get enough of. "Edward." The word was full of so much adoration, so much devotion, it spoke more than my three little words could even if I repeated them a thousand times.

"My Bella." I reached out and traced her smooth cheek, down her jawline, across her lips. She closed her eyes and sighed, and her cool breath shuddered across my fingers.

She shifted so her head rested in my lap, and she reached up to secure my hand in both of hers. "Thank you, Edward." Her tone and expression left little doubt as to her meaning.

I swept my free hand through her silky dark hair, then played with a few strands I'd captured from the breeze's stir. "You're welcome, Bella."

During her change, I'd had a thousand regrets, and more than enough time to beat myself up over them all. After a while Alice and Jasper crept in. They sat in the corner watching me, and Bella. Alice was there to make sure all would go safely; Jasper was there to try to soothe the pain of Bella's transformation, and subsequently my own pain. He'd also taken it upon himself to ease my guilt, though, and sometimes I let him.

Since the moment Bella had opened her red, newborn eyes upon the world, I had only suffered a few moments of doubt in the past five months. As time went along, I realized Bella hadn't changed that much. She was more durable now, more like me so we could spend forever together, but the faucets of her personality that had drawn me to Bella the human in the first place had carried over into Bella the vampire. Her sweetness; her shyness; her willingness to love, accept, forgive.

The only thing I remotely missed was her penchant for blushing. But since I knew she didn't miss it in the least, I didn't, either. Whatever made her happy, made me happy.

I cupped her sweet, glowing, beautiful face in my hands and smiled down at her. "I love you, Bella Cullen. Forever."

She smiled up at me with a pure, sweet love that made everything in me want to scream to the world how much I loved her. "I love you, Edward Cullen. Forever."

The lion and the lamb at last found their happily-ever-after.

_**-The End-**_


End file.
